If I'm going down I'm taking you with me!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

and first let me apologise for the rather large gap between blogs. Don't worry though this will be a good one as I'm about to rip apart Barbra Streisand's latest attempt at an album.

Hence the title of this blog! (What did you think I meant?) If you weren't aware of the fact Diana Krall is the producer of the album. I illustrate what I think of this album I will transcribe the conversation that Barbra and Diana.

Barbra Streisand: (Answers phone) Hello?

Diana Krall: Hi Barbra, it's Diana Krall.

BS: Oh, I know you, aren't you Elvis Costello's wife?

DK: Well yes, but I also sing very boring, very dull Jazz.

BS: That's right, I read a review of your last album on a blog called Craig's basement.

DK: Well anyway, I was wondering if I could produce your next album?

BS: hmmm, not really.

DK: Oh go on, it will be really good. I think we could make an album just like mine, but with your name on the front.

BS: So I would sing in a really depressed way and not really do anything worth while.

DK: That's right, just like my album. My style will suite your voice anyway, as you're so old now you can't reach those high notes.

BS: Well ok, I think I've got a couple of hours free somewhere.

DK: Oh it won't take that long, we don't want it to sound like we put any effort in to it do we?

So there we are, hope you enjoyed that! I think she might have produced the new portico quartet album too! (Sorry Axl!)

Hopefully it would be to long until the next blog.

Until next time...

x

I want to ride my...

Good day to you all, sorry it's been so long since my last post. Sadly I suffer from bloggers block.
But something happened to me the other day (actually about two weeks ago) and I've wanted to talk about it. So as I'm sure some of you are aware some times I cycle into work from time to time. Now I'm sure there are lots of people who have feelings about cycling in Oxford but generally I feel I stick to the rules of the road (Always wear a helmet, working lights etc, etc). So it really annoys me when we all get tarred with the same brush. I was cycling back from work, I stopped at a red light and a man in a car driving past shouted "Why don't you pay some road tax!"
As you can imagine I got off my bike and keyed his car. Well actually that didn't happen. But this got me thinking about how much we judge people. Because I though as he drove by "Why don't you pay some car insurance, you chav twat."
Still perhaps this guy doesn't like cyclist in general and I can sympathise, because generally cyclist can be incredibly annoying. I know, I am one.
I feel that there are some rules that should be followed, if you live in a village or somewhere quiet and cycle down to the shop for the paper and ride on the path with out a helmet I don't see a problem with that. What does get on my goat is when people cycling into Oxford centre, clearly on a commute to work, with out a helmet, running red light and on the phone. Not talking, but texting someone! (I actually saw someone do this last week!)

Anyway I think that enough for one day.
As always comments and criticisms are greatly received.

Now we can really begin!

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,
sorry it's been a while since my last blog but I have been busy! I've have now moved out and have my very own bungalow with my lovely girlfriend. But sadly we couldn't get online until now. But there we are.
Now we're up and running so blogs will be coming thick and fast as long as I can think of enough things to talk about! I also have the rest of the week off work so I'm sure I'll come up with some more.
For now...
Goodnight

x

Writing endings: for dummies!

Good evening and welcome to blog number three.
There were a few thing I could write about, it's been a long weekend! I went to met my wonderful girlfriends parents, which hopefully went very well! At least I didn't get kicked out! But it was quite funny when Kristina's Dad put on the new Diana Krall album! (See previous blog for my review on that!)
But the main reason for blogging tonight is the terrible ending of Torchwood! What happened there? At this point I'll say, if you didn't see it this won't make much sense!
So where it started to go wrong: the 456 want the children for drugs. Hmm interesting, bit dark (remember this is for adult! So they can swear and show fat naked welsh men!) Anyway so then they have one of the characters (that we've been following for 5 days now), shoot himself and his family, which in hindsight was a pointless exercise! Then they realise that the best way to stop these aliens is some kind of frequency projected through a child, who will die once this has been done! Well sadly the nearest child is Jack grandson. Hmm dilemma! Surely our hero wouldn't let this happen, oh but wait he does seem to have a little think about it and then, teary eyed, give the nod to let his grandson get killed. And so the alien explodes in a big bloody mess! So the earth is saved. Jack walks away. The we skip to a 6 month later thing. Jack says his goodbyes to Gwen and the buggers off. With some piss poor excuse - "Boo hoo its all my fault, I'm gonna run away for the people who need my help!"
Nice one BBC, you clearly not going to do any more torchwood and the best way to make sure of this is to kill off most of the characters and the turn our hero in to a coward!
If you don't want to make a new series, just don't make one!!!

Right I think that covers it! I'm off to pack.
Goodo!

Quiet (and boring and the worst album i've ever heard) nights!

Good morning one and all.
This blog is slightly old news but its something I feel still need discussing. Diana Krall's latest album - Quiet nights. Before I rip this album apart you should now that generally I really like jazz vocalists, especially modern one's and there are a few of them on the scene at the moment. The two obvious artists being Madeline Peyroux and Melody Gardot and their albums are really good.
So on to the point, if these jazz artists are realising good albums, why would Diana Krall make a bad one! I just doesn't make sense! But not only did she make a bad album she has made the worst album I've ever heard!
The biggest problem with it is that is that it not the sound or the fact that she covers a bunch of old songs that have already been covered to death, but for me it's all in the vocal.
It's just so dull, it's as if someone woke Diana up at 3am and told her her puppy was dead and then told her they will keep killing puppies until she sings 14 really boring songs!
If there is anything good to be said it that "walk on by" isn't so bad, but only because it's actually the same as the original!
The sad thing is this album could have been so much better. I can believe she finish this album and said "yes, I'm happy with this, let get in on the shelves!"
NO you moron, it's clearly not finished! Why not get your husband (Elvis Costello) to help you out, even your best bud Eric Clapton to lend a hand! But no, what you did is release a piece of crap that couldn't be more beige if you tried!


thanks for reading!

11 days and i'll have to make my own lunch.

Good evening one and all.
Welcome to my very first blog, I hope you enjoy it.
So for those who don't know me already I'm an Oxford gent, born and raised, and I currently resided in the classical & specialised department of HMV. And I love it!
So on to the subject of my first blog: Moving!
Today I signed the contract for a bungalow, that I intend to live in. This will be the first time i've lived away from home. So at the moment I'm an interesting mix of excitment and worry. (How do you make food?)
Still i'll keep you all posted on the progress!
Thats all for this post! But do keep in touch and let me know what you think and hopefully there will be more next time!

Goodo!